2002-02-23 - 3:01 a.m.
I'm hungry. I think I have some Ravioli(sp?) in the kitchen. So I haven't written anything in a while. I've been busy with school and stuff. On one had I slack more and drink too much beer and sleep like 3 hrs a night...but I'm doing more homework and I know what the fuck is going on in all my classes. I care more about school this semester. I just have to do this right for the next 3 semesters...then the cold cruel world. It's great having the realisation that my life is better now. I don't just mean better than complete soul-crushing depression. I mean better than when I was with Angelique. There was too much conflict and strife. I didn't want there to be, but there was. I'm sure she's happy with her new boyfriend. I miss her friendship. I'm fine with just being me right now. I find myself getting all these little crushes and it pisses me off. I waste too much time thinking about girls. I'm trying to focus on doing what I have to do and improving myself. I was on the self-improvement kick for a while but I lost track. I want to be someone I'm proud of. Someone worthy of someone elses adoration. Right now I know I'm not any good for anyone.
I'm fairly happy as a whole. I have my bad days, but even when I'm depressed I'm able to just say to myself.."It's cool" and then it is. I've made some great friends this semester...people that I think are neat and interesting. There is this girl from Kurdisan in my French class named Vicky. She is so amazing in so many ways...i'm not even going to go into it all. Well...i'll just say one thing...she speaks 5 fucking languages. She's intimidating to be friends with. There is Brian in my math class. He and I are WAY alike...on the same wavelength if you will. We make good homework partners, and we're definitely going to hang as soon as our schedules allow it. He looks like the singer for Incubus. There is also my friend Marion from Pitsburgh. She's way cool. We too are on the same wavelength. It's so neat to have people who are mentally compatible with you. I wish she could move down here. She'd get along with Jeremy (Gegenheimer) and all my boys. Ok, that's enough.
