2003-11-25 - 6:37 p.m.
I'm sitting at Cafe Cottage. I've been here for like 3 hrs now, gorging myself on internet access. I could be doing worse. I'm in this wierd pensive mood, but not a bad mood. Things aren't super great...but they're alright. They'll do. I think I may have a job at a local restaurant. It's not bling bling, but I have to take what I can get. Plus it's supposedly a very cool place to work. I don't care, I just need money and something to do with my time.
The sunset was beautiful tonight. First, just before dusk I could see these really high whispy clouds that happen when it's really cold in the upper atmosphere. Then as the sun set they exploded with oranges and reds. It was nice. It hit me in the chest with a canonball of memories...so many that I couldn't experience any of them individually. Instead it was this wash of general melencholic introspection and peace. It happens to me when it's cold. It's like I experience every cold day I've ever had..all the emotions and thoughts..all at the same time. But none of them are clear...they're just all melted into this one collective experience that I can't easily put into words. After all, how do you describe a thousand days at the same time.
Earlier today I was thinking about how lucky and fortunate I've been. Then later I was wondering if my life has been punishment for something I've done wrong at some point. Now I don't know what I'm thinking.
